a long time has passed since I last thought about this page. Certainly, a lot has happened since I last posted on here. I’m at university, studying….Biology. Who would’ve thought? Someone so dead set on pursuing a career in medicine, not actually studying medicine. Well the truth is, it’s still there, the dream. It just also came with a few hurdles, like just falling short of the A level grades required. Just falling short. The pure disappointment I felt when receiving my results was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. I cried for days, although i hate to admit this. But, I’m here to tell you that things get better. More opportunities will arise and my determination will not fade.
In some ways, this was a blessing in disguise. I am at a fantastic university, studying an entirely fascinating degree, THAT I LOVE. Before coming here, I didn’t realised how completely unprepared I was for university. Nobody tells you how hard it is: leaving home, being surrounded by unfamiliar people, unfamiliar places, and being expected to ‘have the time of your life’. Freshers was particularly hard for me, everyone seemed to have completely settled into their friendship groups immediately, which left me thinking that there was something seriously wrong with me. I never expected to feel as homesick or lonely as I did; I questioned whether it was worth it numerous times. But then… it got better. I met some of the best people I’ve ever known, I joined the SCUBA society, I got really into my course, I can now officially say that university is fantastic… but I need more sleep, haha!
Throughout all of this, there’s been the underlying issue of, this really isn’t what I want to do with my life. I find myself becoming jealous of my med student friends. I find myself wishing I were them. But then, I take a step back and realise how lucky I am to experience university without quite so much pressure the first time around, to be able to (hopefully) study two degrees that I love. To be able to gain more life experience before (eagerly) handing over my life to medicine. To be able to adjust to independence, and truly realise that medicine is the career for me.
I’m sure that there will be a number of disappointments in life, falling short of med school entrance being just the start. I’m also sure that medicine is what I want to do, and I will do it. One way or another, it’s just taking me a bit longer to get there. So for all of you out there that are in a similar boat, chin up, see you in med school.